You pick the place. . . I'll bring the CHAOS!!! (Part 1 - in its entirety!))

You pick the place. . . I'll bring the CHAOS!!! (Part 1 - in its entirety!))
So, for spring break this year, i decided, last minute, (literately - at 3:30 pm
on Monday afternoon, and we were in the car on our way at 5 pm) to join three of my friends and their kids in Vegas. That's right - 4 moms, no husbands, and 16 kids (nearly a third of them being mine!). It is also important to mention that before we decided to join up with this fab group of ladies, the youngest child in the group was 6. Enter, Heather. Enter, Chaos.
So, we are on our merry way, and about an hour into the drive i realize that i have forgotten the pac n' play for Faith. Crudola!. . . and the stroller. . . and my camera. . . and a life jacket for Lily for the pool. Ugh. Looks like we will be making an emergency stop to Walmart somewhere en route.
Three hours into the trip, and we are hauling. When i am pretty sure we are at our last chance to hit Walmart, we pull off. Now, mind you - in my mad rush to exit the house, Lily, at some point changed her clothes. . . into one of Faith's dresses. size 6-12 months. Lily is almost three. She also found time to remove her panties and replace them with a pair of bloomers - also faiths - but, to a different dress. Also important to note - the last 45 minutes in the car before pulling over were complete and utter chaos. Lily and Faith were both done being in carseats. Both screaming at the top of their lungs - i did what any honorable mother would do - i handed back dum dums and licorice. . . repeatedly. Hmm. Not smart. So, when we pull up to Walmart, i realize that both lily and faith have sticky gunk all over their face and hair - which now looks slightly punk rock - and are completely covered in red. Sticky red hands, sticky red legs, sticky red streaked hair, sticky red clothes. . . and, we are outta wipes. Hmm. Its just Walmart, i think to myself - and then announce to my brood - ok - shoes on, lets go. So, we throw shoes on everyone and take everyone into Walmart. the list is short: portable crib, camera, wipes, stroller - and a few snacks to keep in the room in Vegas. We should be in and out in 20, 25 minutes - Max! . . . or not!
We go walking into Walmart, and head straight to the bathroom - and i think to myself again, that Lily looks, in one word - awesome. I think to myself - Oh my good gravy - we could not be anymore W.H.I.T.E. T.R.A.S.H. if we were going to a costume party as "White Trash". So, we use the restroom - wash off the girls as best i can, and head out to shop for our list. As we make our way thru the store, several things happen. Mason and Grace find incredible "caves" to hide from me in. Awesome. Lily, at some point, loses her shoes (never to be recovered, by the way) and now has BLACK bottoms of feet. Awesome-er. (im pretty sure that is not even a word - but, it seems to work here!) So she is running around (no more room in the cart because of the stroller and pac n play and Faith) with a Navy and Red dress - that looks more like a very tiny maternity shirt (i should also tell you that the dress is so small infact that it does not button all the way up the back, so it is pulled in an open "V" across Lily's shoulders.) so, she is in the navy and red dress, with hot pink and white habiskus flower bloomers - and disgustingly filthy feet. Awesom-ist. (again, pretty sure its not a word - but, whatever!) So, miracle beyond all miracles - we make it out of Walmart - one hour and 18 minutes later. Ok. Get gas, get back on the road - three and a half more hours to Vegas. We can do this.
Fast forward - and we are pulling into Vegas. Its midnight, and all my kiddos are passed out. Find Excalibur (where we stayed). My friends had told me to pull through to Valet Parking to make things easier (they had all arrived earlier that day). But, as luck would have it - the sign under the Valet Parking says "FULL". Hmm. ok, no big deal. Look for parking. Find a place to park - that is maybe as far away from the entrance as it could possibly be without being at the next hotel - it appears Excalibur is hopping tonight. Lucky us! So, i park and wake up all the kids. "Wake up guys, we are here! c'mon, everyone has to help" as i load up each groggy child with their pillows and little rolling suitcases. I am holding Faith in one arm (because the stoller is still in the box) and in my other arm, my purse, a backpack, and two overnight bags on my shoulder - and i tell my kids to stay close and follow me. You really have to get this picture right - and remember - lily is still in the dress, bloomers, and no shoes - and is carrying her sippy cup, snuggle, and book. I am leading the group - me and Faith, then Grace, Mason, Lily, and Savannah. We are easily a 20 foot long parade. We have to cross two roads. Taxi's are honking - people are pointing and whispering. I can see people using their finger to physically count us. Which brings me to my next point - Honestly - we are in Vegas - a shmorgusborg of visually stimulating and appalling things to look at - and we are the center of attention? I just wanted to look at everyone and say, "Yes. there are FIVE!" followed by, "Really?!"
Moving on. . . we head into the casino to check in. We get our key card and the man at the desk explains to me that we are in Tower 1. Where is Tower 1? Just down the stairs, past the slots, down the hill - take a left at the elevators. We are on the 12th floor. Room 12151 (Which is all the way down the hall). Awesome, again.
We get to the room, and i look at my oldest, Savannah, who is 9, and say, "Okay honey - mommy needs your help big time. I have to run back out to the car and get the pac n' play, the diaper bag, and formula for Faiths' bottle. I am turning on a show on the Tv. Do your best to keep everyone happy. I will be right back - i will run!" And then i tell all of them to look me in the eyes, and i say, "DO NOT - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ANYONE. . . ANYONE, DO YOU HEAR ME?" they all nod, and i take off running. I sprint to the car. Now that i know where our room is, i think to myself - surely, there is closer parking to Tower 1. I hop in the car and drive to the other side of the hotel. I cant find anything. I call my husband. It is midnight - and i am questioning my spontaneous trip.
"Hello?" he answers groggily. "What in the "H" am i doing in Satan's' Armpit with 5small children?!" i shout. We go through the whole situation and he tells me to calm down. "Calm down?! I have 5 babies sitting on the 12th floor in Vegas!!!" I have a call coming in - it is one of my friends that is staying in Vegas, too. I answer.
"Hi", she says. "I am in your room with your kids. . . Lily was freaking out and screaming so loud that i could hear her through the wall. I thought i better come see what was going on." Wow. Crap. and then, "how did you get in?", followed by, "i just knocked, and the kids opened the door." Hmm. Maybe one of my worst plans ever! i think! I tell her that i will park and be right up. So, i get some courage, and pull up to Valet (the sign still says "FULL"), get out of my car and look at the guy straight in the eye and say, "Listen. its 12:30. i have driven the last 7 hours with 5 kids, 9 years old and younger, to get here. They are all currently on the 12th floor in our room - BY THEMSELVES. I realize your space is "full", but you're gonna find me a parking space in that lot, and get me a bell hop, so i can go back up to my kids!" And the guy looks at me, shrugs his shoulders, and says, "ok." "Victory!" I think to myself! Until the guy follows his "ok" with, "the sign is broken. . . ". Hmm. Again. A-W-E-S-O-M-E.