Didn't Your Mother Teach You Manners?!

So, I don't know why it is this way...but, i literally cannot stand it when my kids say "no" to me.  Not "no thank you, mom", not "in a minute mom"- which, in all honesty, drives me bananas anyway...but just a flat, all out "NO".  Let me give some examples....
Me:  "Lily, please go let Tank (the dog) out"
Lily:  "No".
And then i have that moment of disbelief, followed by shock and awe, followed by You gotta be kidding me that my four year old just turned to me after a very simple request and said, "NO".
or....
Me:  "Mason, please go get your sister from so-and-so's house for dinner"
Mason:  "No".
or.....
Me:  "Savannah, please put your pile of clothes...that i just washed and folded for you...away in your drawers..."
Savannah:  "No."
Now, if we are being fair, Savannah says "no" less often than any of my other kids...she will say something like, "Ok, Mom, in just one sec"...which i have learned in Savannah-ese,  is in fact, "no".


or, the sneaky no:
Me:  "Gracie, please put your dish in the sink"
Grace: "Ok, mom" ...at which point she immediately gets up and walks out of the room, and the dish remains exactly where it was.  Almost like, she thinks i wont notice when i look back at the table and see her dish still there...almost like, as long as the words "ok mom" escape her lips all will be well...because really, I'm not her mom, I'm the maid, too...or, in her little perfect world,  i  can just fling open the window and sing to invite creatures in to clean up after her.


In these moments, i think to myself, "Seriously?! How did i get here?"....which, is almost always followed by some sort of "Well, that's it...I'm done cleaning up after everyone.  They can all just live in their filth until they are all so disgusted, they will learn to help out.  If no one lets the dog out, we know what will happen.  If dishes don't get put in the sink to be cleaned, well then, they will eventually run out of dishes to eat on, and room at the table to eat,  and can eat on the floor for all i care!"  The problem here, is that they all know what i knew as a child too..."Mom will do it."
Mom ALWAYS does it...no matter how much, or how awful the clean up of any situation really is...they are right...mom will do it.
As i think about this sometimes i reflect on the perfect vision i had for myself as a mother...
I would have perfect little children who all had the cutest, clean, ironed clothes, whose shoes never looked worn, whose faces were always clean and filled with smiles.  They would be beautiful and perfect in every way, and their sweet little voices would be like angels with a case of the giggles....(Side note: ever wonder how laughter can go from priceless noise to the most aggravating sound in the world just because you are in a small car together?! I remember my dad yelling at us from the front seat as children during those long Sunday drives of aimless house hunting , saying, " this car is just too small for all this noise!!"  And, i remember thinking, "How could continuous, loud laughter and teasing from children ever be annoying???"...no worries, Dad, i get it now!)
Any whoooo.....I had this vision of motherhood that i had created for myself....and somehow, my sweet children, turning to me after a simple request and saying, "no"...was not part of that dream.  Yet hear i sit, writing this entry, because in this moment, i have HAD IT with "NO".  I'm filing a complaint with "NO".
Dear "NO",
I am normally a really kind person.  I don't fuss about all that much.  But, recently, i have noticed that you have been coming around a little too much.  Not that I'm saying that i don't expect to ever hear from or see you again, but, honestly, "NO", you really are wearing out your welcome around my ears...and it's just plain rude to take it to this very un neccessary  point.  Didn't your mother teach you anything about manners?!
What?....What is that you just said?....Did you just say, "no"?!!!  Forget it, "NO"...i knew in my heart of hearts this was a hopeless cause.  I guess i just wanted you to know that i personally am not a fan, and i would like you to stay away from my kids from here on out.
Sincerely,
me
p.s....I removed you from my friends on Facebook...AND, i clicked "Like" on "Yes's" page.